A long-time horsy internet friend and excellent horsewoman was recently lamenting the sudden influx of videos in her social media feed from so-called 'horse trainers' who pride themselves on using violent methods to subdue horses.
I'd like to believe that this is the dying gasp of a side of the industry that has no place going forward. There are those who seek to outlaw all forms of what they consider to be the exploitation of animals, and recreational horse activities are well and truly in the firing line. We are under massive pressure to clean up the industry from the inside, and this is giving ethical trainers an opportunity to shine.
In all examples of radical change, there will be pushback. Especially when those about to become obsolete tend to be of a certain... demographic.
I mentioned to my coach one day that I could understand why horses have such a pull on broken women. Her response was 'yep, and narcissists'.
The nature of horses makes them very attractive to traumatised women. Horses can be a source of connection and belonging. They accept us as we are. They don't have an ulterior motive. Compared to a lot of people, they are safe to be around. They make us feel good.
But there are those who are drawn to horses because they like to have power. Power over other people, sure, but having power over a large animal? Even better. The holy grail is when you can use your power over the large animal to increase your power over other people, and not even have to hide your brutality.
Here's where it starts to get ugly. You get a big bloke who comes up with ingenious methods of using force to create internal states in horses that change how they respond to stimulus. You get horses who are worked until they can't move, who are physically restrained and put in situations they can't escape from. You create a horse who doesn't react or resist simply because it fears the consequences of doing so.
It can be very, very easy, when you find yourself in conflict with your horse or their behaviour causes you to not feel safe around them, to want to hand them over to someone experienced who can 'fix' that problem. But maybe you can only afford a few weeks of training. Maybe you aren't really interested in how the problem is 'fixed' you just don't want to deal with that behaviour any more.
Any coward can pay a big strong bloke to put a horse through a series of ordeals and hand it back to you six weeks later claiming it is 'safe' because he's beaten all the opinions and responses out of it.
Between the obviously awful 'trainers' and the real enlightened ones there are also a whole lot of people who think they 'get it' but don't. People who can't let go of the idea that they can coerce a horse into doing what they want, even if they tell themselves they are doing it 'nicely'. They can't listen to the horse because they don't want to hear what it has to say. It is hard for most people to put their agenda aside, even if they mean well. There are loads of people stuck in the middle here, and most of them are not professionals because this half-arsed approach is the least effective of all. These are the people who have all the problems because using force doesn't work and makes them feel bad, and they don't know how to release themselves into working WITH and listening to the horse.
The people who say 'my horse needs a standing martingale to help keep her head steady', or 'I could never stop my horse without a bit' or 'I hardly use my whip, I just carry it so I don't have to kick so much'.
It can be hard to make that change, and to let go of the 'rules' you have leaned on for years, that made sense at the time or were told to you by someone you assumed knew what they were talking about because they said it with such conviction.
Then one day you find yourself standing in front of a horse thinking 'this animal is 7-8 times my size and I can't force it to do ANYTHING'. That's the moment you get to choose courage. It takes guts to know that a horse could easily kill you and to use that knowledge to create a relationship where you will both do anything to keep each other safe.
You put down your whip. You take off your noseband. You stand, relaxed, by the tailgate of the float while your horse goes through all the feelings that float loading brings up for him and eventually decides to walk on anyway because you asked him to. You make your requests quieter instead of louder. You listen, really listen, to your horse's responses, even if he tells you what you don't want to hear. You leave your ego at the door and meet your horse where he is at in that moment.
From connection we create a solid foundation, and from that foundation we create a partnership. And after a while nothing the horse does is unexpected to us. That is where the horse ceases to be a danger and becomes a source of healing. You make each other better.
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